Heidi's Blog

Monday, June 15, 2009, 03:33 PM ( 53 views )  - Posted by Heidi
At one it was all smiles and four teeth to skin a pea. He didnít speak to us at all only pointed and held his bottle with his feet. Then came two and it was dogs and trucks, everything was a dog or a truck, the fireplace, momís cat, the garden hose anything could fit into one of those two categories. When he turned four Madie went to school, he cried and laid his head in his hands and spent the rest of the day trying to make Kenny play with him, asking when Sissy would be home. At six he started school, the memories all documented in precious photographs, the pumpkin farm and the fire house. He found his love for friends, learning and paper and pens. He wrote his name on everything and always had a list, I love to read them now hidden in the third drawer on the left side of his dresser. At eight it was camping, peeing outside and playing cowboys with Kenny. He was all boy dressed in work boots and a black t-shirt so he looked like Granddad. At nine he loved football and his bike, it is still parked there by the shed gathering dust, waiting. The surf board hangs on the wall in the barn, the paper and pens sit up in his room with the bird house he built and his work boots at the foot of his bed. Everything waiting for more memories as I am. This is what I have for sure, the memories of what was but itís what I donít that have haunts me. What might have been? What would ten have brought or twelve or sixteen? The longing to know feels like torture to my psyche as my imagination works overtime trying to finish a puzzle with so many beautiful pieces missing.

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