Heidi's Blog

Tuesday, April 7, 2009, 10:22 AM ( 5 views )  - Posted by Heidi
As the days roll by since our “little victory” I find myself renewed in hope, a hope that people banded together by similar tragedies can make a difference in this world, but the shadow of winter still covers the warmth of the sun allowing it to only partially thaw my heart. I celebrate this step in our cause halfheartedly because the one ear who I want to desperately tell about this remains unreachable. I’ve spent hours out behind the house sitting in J.T.’s memorial, where the cedar trees grow tall and clack together when the wind blows, just watching, waiting on that cold stone bench for him. Waiting for a glimpse of him running by his giggles ringing out like a sweet song saying “catch me!” but he’s not there. I while away the afternoon on the front porch where spring has awakened the flowers and their blooms stand tenderly toward the sun hoping he will show to smell their sweet fragrance. Sticking his nose right to them and pulling it back all covered in yellow pollen then moving along to count the buds on the Gardenia, but he has yet to show. I want to see his face, to watch his eyes dance and his smile light up as I tell him what his life has done, the people he has saved and the difference he has made. I want to celebrate this victory with J.T. but as close as I can get is to just sit and whisper at the sky hoping my words go beyond what I can physically see. Perhaps not to his ear but to his heart, and as I close my eyes to imagine his reaction the sun sets on the lonely longing of another day.


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