Heidi's Blog

Tuesday, November 18, 2008, 09:34 AM ( 8 views )  - Posted by Heidi
The lessons I have learned over the past seventeen months are many. I’m not sure however if any of them are useful. I know now that it takes two hours to paint a bedroom and that the detailed work makes a wonderful distraction from life’s torments. I know that it takes a week to read a book and you can momentarily loose yourself in another world that’s thankfully not your own. I know that it takes a matter of hours to fly to anywhere you want to be but you always carry the pain with you weather you intentionally pack it or not. I have discovered it takes about three weeks to recover from a lost love and about the same amount of time to believe you might have found another spark…but I still don’t know how to fill this empty space left behind by the loss of my Son. It is a hollow, dark, raw open hole that stitches wont adequately mend, possessions don’t make a dent in its depths and as the minutes turn to hours then days and the days become months then seasons pass it is still within me. My heart peeks out waiting for me to figure it out and I don’t have the answer. The weather changes from warm to cool and the butterflies are replaced by falling leaves and I watch and wait for the answer to the one question that perplexes me time and time again. One thing I know for sure; most of our dilemmas can be figured out, overcome or dealt with but the scars of some of life’s battles will just remain in wait for us, maybe not to figure out, but perhaps to accept.

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