It’s been a while since I have posted. Perhaps because I have just been shattered. It seems to me now that every emotional bump in the road just breaks me, once again, into a million pieces. J.T.’s 11th birthday was on the 19th and ever since I have been sitting in the dark trying to work this infuriating puzzle of putting myself back together. Maybe my strength lies only on the surface because emotionally this roads has given me no relief or maybe strength is being able to pick up the pieces and put them back together every time, I am not sure. I know this time I long for help, waiting in this overwhelming pile of myself alone and in the cloak of constant night for an extended hand of someone who can see past the illusion of strength to help me bear my load because the road has become long and lonely and the shattered pieces, too much for one.