Heidi's Blog

Monday, June 23, 2008, 10:03 AM ( 49 views )  - Posted by Heidi
I sit here today one year and one day past the horrific moment I lost my Son. For once the anticipation of the day didn’t overpower the emotion and did nothing to warn me of the heartache I would feel. Yesterday I went to the site of J.T.’s accident , I stood there and watched my Dad place a sandstone marker on the spot where my Son lost his precious life, I watched him toil in his pain and questions. I looked over that flat unremarkable piece of earth and became overwhelmed with anger and lack of understanding. I heard the strain in my Mother’s voice as she grieved for her Grandson, I watched the tears fall down the round cheeks of my children’s faces as they struggled to comprehend and clung to each other for comfort. I felt the hole in my heart rip open once again becoming a raw and deep void where my baby belongs and stood there helpless to fix it for any of us. I became one again with the sharp and hot emotion of the beginning physically aching for his missing presence with no relief in sight longing for a patch for this damaged and broken heart.

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