Anyone who has ever lost someone tells you "all the first are the hardest". As the holidays approach I am finding this to be so true. I went shopping Friday and they had Christmas trees up already. As I looked at the trees and the thoughts filled my head (and poured out of my eyes) I realized how different everything would be from here on out. Halloween will not be the same, nor Thanksgiving or Christmas. Not just this year but every year from this point on. I began to become overwhelmed at the thought of all the Holidays coming, I had almost an angry point of view, wanting the world to just STOP for a while and let me catch up. Then I realized this year will be hard...well lets just be honest...damn near impossible and time won't fix that, how could it, all it does is pass but sometimes I don't think that it is time that heals our pain but rather the acceptance of our pain that heals us.