Heidi's Blog2013-05-23T17:00:40ZHeidiCopyright 2013, HeidiSPHPBLOGRemember to Remind Me… I guess in truth I’m not actually worried that I would ever forget but I am consumed with the fear that somebody around me might. I guess my actions are my little way of remembering to remind them that he is still just as important as he was when he was here. Perhaps they haven’t forgotten either they have just found a way to have the best of both worlds, his sweet memories mixed with the joy that life still offers. Maybe just maybe I should remind myself to remember that. ]]>http://www.jtcrow.net/pblog/index.php?entry=entry101107-1129442010-11-07T00:00:00Z2010-11-07T00:00:00ZStill Here… This space is with me all the time it seems. Sometimes the empty space is so real I can almost touch it. I can almost see it. It gets so big sometimes that I can't see anything else. - Arnold and Gemma 1983, 56
]]>http://www.jtcrow.net/pblog/index.php?entry=entry101104-1210282010-11-04T00:00:00Z2010-11-04T00:00:00ZA Poem From Pop...The Lord once sent an angel down For all of us to share A gorgeous little baby boy, Blue eyes and golden hair
We held him close and nurtured him With hugs and food and love We all were so in awe Of this gift from up above
God provides us with our all, Talents, family, gold But we forget that all is his, Just ours a while to hold
I know that you’ve departed, But not without a trace For many times, on many days, I still see your face
I see you through the teardrops now Rolling down my cheeks I see you through the distance Of the hours, days and weeks
I see you through the pictures On my wall and in my mind I see you through the memories of Days now left behind
I see you through my dreams On nights when it’s so dark But most of all I see you Through the love that’s in my heart
Today you should be twelve years old I see you clear as day Taller, bigger, different, But the same in every way
You’ll always be a part of me I’ll hold you close and dear But on this day my heart just screams, “I wish that you were here”
Love Pop ]]>http://www.jtcrow.net/pblog/index.php?entry=entry090921-1539302009-09-21T00:00:00Z2009-09-21T00:00:00ZCBS NEWS STORY !Trendy Off-Road Vehicle Poses Deadly Risk CBS News Investigation Reveals More Than 400 Death and Injury Lawsuits Related to Yamaha Rhino (CBS) It's like a muscle-car for the backcountry - the hottest trend in off-road vehicles. But a four-month CBS News investigation has found evidence that the popular Yamaha Rhino doesn't need to be busting over tough terrain to be dangerous.
"The Yamaha Rhino started to rock and it tipped over on my left side, crushing my wrist," said Justin Miller, who lost his left hand after a Rhino accident in May of 2008.
Miller says he wasn't jumping sand dunes or careening around corners - just driving less than 15 miles per hour on flat ground when his 1,100-pound Rhino rolled over.
Miller told CBS News chief investigative correspondent Armen Keteyian that he was wearing a helmet, belted in and that he didn't break any rules.
Yamaha disputes that, citing a police report saying Justin was driving 20 miles an hour down a hill and hit a rock.
The Rhino has been a runaway hit in the off-road market since its introduction in 2003; more than 150,000 have been sold to date. It turns out no one tracks exactly how many people have been injured while riding in these recreational vehicles.
But CBS News has learned of at least 440 Rhino-related death and injury lawsuits across the U.S. - including Justin Miller's.
Miller said that if the rider were leaning left on a Rhino, "it would tip over."
The Consumer Product Safety Commission cites hundreds of reported injuries - including broken bones crushed legs, arms and heads - often on level ground at relatively low speeds. The commission also cites a disturbing number of deaths.
"The public needs to be aware that already 59 people have been killed in these vehicles," said Inez Tenenbaum, head of the CPSC. "It's very high risk. This vehicle has a high center of gravity and it will turn over."
Last March the CPSC and Yamaha agreed to a voluntary "free repair" program. Yamaha temporarily suspended sales of all Rhino models and agreed to make a series of repairs to improve handling and reduce injuries. The CPSC told people to follow Yamaha safety guidelines, finding many cases of unbelted riders.
Still the new head of the CSPC says her agency's investigation is far from over.
"We'll continue to look at this, and if we have to take stronger measures, we will," Tenenbaum said.
Yamaha Motor Corp, which did $16 billion in sales overall last year, fiercely defends the Rhino. Arguing virtually all accidents are caused by operator error - ignoring safety warnings, driving too fast on pavement, or failing to wear seat belts or helmets.
"I think there's just a lot of people out there who give people like me - my family - bad names and give these machines bad names," said Rhino rider Darren Thau. "There's a lot of stupid people."
Yet one video shows a Yamaha dealer employee moving a Rhino from one part of a dealership to another when it tips over.
Turns out, the potential for rollovers was well known to Yamaha executives. According to documents obtained by CBS News, just 15 months before its introduction at a testing ground in Kentucky, two riders rolled over in a prototype for the Rhino. The driver: a Yamaha president at the time. His passenger: the vice president in charge of Rhino Development who sustained a foot injury.
Today there are no safety standards for these so-called "side-by-side" vehicles. Right now, the industry is drafting a set of voluntary ones. Tenenbaum says that may not be enough.
"With the number of deaths that have already occurred, we're even thinking we should go to mandatory standards," Tenenbaum said.
Yamaha wouldn't provide someone to speak with us on camera so we went to their headquarters in Southern California. But despite repeated requests company lawyers ultimately decided not to let anyone speak on camera.
Yamaha did provide several off-camera interviews and answers to written questions. In statements to CBS News, Yamaha said: The Rhino "...is a safe, reliable and versatile vehicle...." and "...has won virtually every 'first-in-class award' and top safety ratings...and that the vehicles have been tested for thousands of hours and perform with a high level of customer satisfaction."
Certainly not for this customer Justin Miller.
"A lot of kids before me had died," he said. "And if we had known that, we would have never bought this product."
Now, after seven surgeries, 17-year-old Justin Miller is on his way to college to study pre-med, hoping one day to become a doctor, specializing in prosthetics.
]]>http://www.jtcrow.net/pblog/index.php?entry=entry090804-1512532009-08-04T00:00:00Z2009-08-04T00:00:00ZTwo Years and One Adventurous Spirit]]>http://www.jtcrow.net/pblog/index.php?entry=entry090624-2043222009-06-25T00:00:00Z2009-06-25T00:00:00ZWhat might have been? ]]>http://www.jtcrow.net/pblog/index.php?entry=entry090615-1233202009-06-15T00:00:00Z2009-06-15T00:00:00ZRewind ]]>http://www.jtcrow.net/pblog/index.php?entry=entry090520-0822332009-05-20T00:00:00Z2009-05-20T00:00:00ZThe Wrong Things To Say?
That first statement I thought I might hear, this next one didn’t even make my radar. “ Heidi, you have to learn to separate THIS from other situations.” THIS? What is THIS exactly? To me this is my son, my child, and just like my “living” children J.T. is a part of every situation and every decision I make. To have to separate what happened to him from every other aspect of my life would be cruel and unusual punishment. It has become almost as certain as blinking to openly cry when I am reminded of him or interject him into a situation where he is obviously and painfully missing. As the words began to bore holes in my brain, images of me in a black cloak alone in my room secretly grieving like a leper emerged, then the questions, Is that what I should do? Spare those around me from the pain I feel? Keep it to myself? That doesn’t honor J.T. and as much as I know how the people that love me don’t want me to hurt, I do. Is it better for me to conceal that to protect them, or for them to accept my pain to comfort me? I don’t want to cover my scars with a cloak, I am proud of them, they represent my son. Are these the wrong things to say? Perhaps, but inside every situation is a lesson and this week during my unwelcome “grief intervention” I have learned that life is a fine mingling of some holding on and others letting go. ]]>http://www.jtcrow.net/pblog/index.php?entry=entry090514-0725542009-05-14T00:00:00Z2009-05-14T00:00:00ZA Beautiful Gift
Kirby Crow did this watercolor portrait of J.T. Jeremy e-mailed it to me this morning. When I opened the picture I found it fascinating that Kirby was able to capture the joy in J.T.’s face. That joy was always there and it was contagious. What a beautiful gift.