Heidi's Blog

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      • The Collector
        01/29/08
        In search of answers to the questions in my mind I force myself to reach out and try to find someone experiencing this life the way I am. I haven’t yet found that person. I’m not sure if I will stumble upon someone who will offer up the right words or the “magic” pill or if it will be a collection o

      • What lies beneath....
        01/22/08
        Through reading this you have been invited to take a journey to the innermost depths of my core. You see me here looking whole on the outside not knowing the bent and gnarled woman that lies below the surface in a place where pain hangs on lines like laundry. The blood on it washed out by the backwa

      • Fanning The Flame
        01/22/08
        I have grown rather weary of trying to unfold myself from this pain and decipher who I am now. Each emotion is so enormous that by the time I crawl to the top of it and conquer it, night has fallen, and there is no time left to enjoy the victory. I ask myself “How many days can I fight and win this

      • Costly Wisdom
        01/14/08
        The death of J.T. has purchased me a new perspective. The daily details of life that normally would have affected me like boulders being heaved at my head now seem as insignificant as the bite of a mosquito. I have a new ability to know that no matter what is happening now it could be worse, much wo

      • Incomplete
        01/11/08
        Whenever I stop and really think about J.T. and try to truly focus on what feelings his memories invoke I continue coming to the same conclusion… the feeling I get is complete. I have had so many emotions since his loss anger, confusion, desperation but the one feeling I long to feel, complete, only

      • My Constant Companion
        01/08/08
        Although it has become the one thing I can count on, grief morphs itself into someone or something different so often that I wake up with a dismal sense of anticipation. I find myself not knowing what form it will take, however I know with dreadful certainty that it will, as always, be there. Someti

      • Irreplaceable
        01/04/08
        He was outside on one of his inevetable treasure hunts with a plastic cup collecting icicles and looking for frozen pools of water, finding his bounty in my Mom's birdbath. Stripping off his gloves, so he would be able to handle and feel the ice. J.T. patiently removed it from its frozen vessel

  • 2007